Harry Potter And the Jail Cell
by RoyMustangsBabe
Summary: [OneShot] Harry Potter and the Golden Trio visit the America's, and we learn they aren't anything like we imagine, and they want revenge. Will Harry succeed in his plot of murder?


**Disclaimer: **_I don't own Harry Potter. J. K. Rowling does._

_**Welcome Readers!**_

_Thank you for choosing to read another RoyMustangsBabe Harry Potter OneShot. _

_I think you will enjoy this very much. Our story takes place, as the Golden Trio_

_Takes their first steps onto American grounds. . ._

_**Warning**_

_**You might not like it if you renamed yourself after a Harry Potter character and your life revolves around them.**_

_**Just a friendly reminder.**_

_**By the way, I am not planning on killing J.K. Rowling. Harry is.**_

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The famous Golden Trio watched the ground roll beneath the plane, as they prepared for their first trip into the Americas. All three of them were interested in what this fabled United States was like, so the scenery amazed them.

"I wonder why Dumbledore told us to travel here?" Hermione said, loosening the ties on her revealing cloak.

"He said we would be surprised by what the America's teach us. They say Americans are familiar with us and our ways. . ." Ron added. Harry turned to Hermione.

"So do you think we can use magic?" She rolled her eyes.

"What do I look like, a genius?" The plane stopped and they collected their bags, eager to get off of the plane to see the new world that lay before them. When they looked at the airport, they were quite surprised. It looked just like the one in London.

". . .Well, not much change here." Ron all of a sudden was excited, pointing to a corner of the airport.

"Yay! Books!" The two were dragged along, and one particular book title caught their eye.

"Harry Potter. . .and the Sorcerer's Stone?" Harry ran his hands through his thick black hair, embarrassed by the front cover, showing him excitedly riding a broom.

"I don't look like that, do I?"

"They wrote a book about you?" Ron asked, flipping through the pages. Harry too, picked one up.

"Not only me. . .us!" Each purchased a book and sat down to read.

"What! Frizzy brown hair? You've got to be kidding me, I've got gorgeous brown locks! And they make me a _bookworm_ in this story! Disgusting. . ." Hermione had just gotten to the part where she was introduced. "I'm like a know it all in this!" Ron laughed.

"I know, you're the most popular girl in our school!" Harry was the next to speak.

"How could they talk about Voldy like that? He's the kindest wizard I ever met."

"Harry, they make you out to be a God in this book!" Ron exclaimed, showing him a passage. "It makes you look more like the hero then anything. You even have a _lighting shaped scar."_

"What?" Harry said, pushing his black hair out of his eyes, revealing a light pink scar in shape of a heart. "They totally got that wrong!" Each of them sat in silence, intent on reading the book that so poorly attempted to copy of their lives. It had seemed like the only thing the author got right was their names.

"Ron, look at this!" She said, showing Ron a page. His face flushed as he began to read.

"They make my mom look like a damn Pez dispenser!" He said after reading about all of his so called 'Siblings.' They put their books away, for only a moment to be picked up by a taxi to be taken to their hotel. The taxi driver looked back at Harry, and gasped in disbelief.

"You're _Harry Potter_!" Harry nodded, with his eyes widened. The taxi driver immediately turned around. "I can't BELIEVE IT! I have two thirds of the golden trio on my bus! Where's Hermione, and who's this slut?" Hermione blushed as the taxi driver slowly realized who it is.

"Oh. . .You're more ugly in the book." Hermione rolled her eyes as the bus driver continued to analyze Harry. "Mr. Potter, you're the greatest, I've read all your books! Can you show me your scar?"

Harry reluctantly lifted his hair to reveal the heart, and the bus driver grimaced.

"You're not the real Harry Potter! Get off my taxi, all of you! The real Harry has a lightning bolt on his forehead!" They were thrown onto the sidewalks as the crappy, yellow taxi sped away.

"Well we didn't want to ride in your stupid taxi anyways!" Said Ron, throwing a can he had found on the street after it. They looked around into their surroundings, and realized, they were not in a very pretty place of town. There were a few shops, all of them not typical shops, such as weapon shops. There were a few places with signs that were missing letters, like the one in neon that said "Nak d G rls" and another poorly painted sign that said "Skimmy G's Drug Place." And then there was a mismatched Pokemon Trading Card Shop. They took their chances at "Skimmy G's."

They walked in and were greeted by two very, angry, bulky looking men, one with an afro and the other with a green Mohawk. Neither of them looked very friendly, but they were the only welcoming committee there.

"Yo, the fuzz with you?" Harry looked around, oblivious to the meaning of 'fuzz.'

"Erhm, I don't think so. May I please come in, sirs?"

"Woah, I think the little man's threatenin' you." The green Mohawk said to the afro. The afro cracked three of his knuckles, which could have easily been Harry's skull.

"If he's got the guts to do that, I guess we can let them in." They stepped aside, but the trio were so scared they couldn't even face to door.

"Uh, nah, that's okay, we better get going. . ." Ron nervously said, as all three ran out the door. They stood on a corner, when a man walked up and looked at Hermione.

"Hehe, girl I like the little witch thing you got goin' on. How much?" It took Hermione a moment to comprehend what he meant, and she was appalled.

"What do you think you're doing?" Ron asked the man. He looked at Ron.

"Sorry, don't roll that way. See ya." He continued to walk down the streets.

"Well I never. . ." Hermione started, as the three started to search for a hotel. Harry left Ron and Hermione in the dirty, motel, being the only one in the neighborhood. He left to find some food, but instead he came back with piles of books, looking as if he could burst.

"We're a SERIES!"

"How did you get those books?"

"Well, they didn't take my kind of money, so I stole them."

"I wonder if that's bad here. . ."

They spent the rest of the night reading the books. There were quite a lot of phrases said that night, and not one of them could sleep.

"I snogged _Krum? _One time, c'mon!"

"Hagrid? Do the mean little Hagrid? He isn't even CLOSE to being a giant!"

"What the bloody is a Tri-Wizard tournament?"

"Harry's the seeker? _That's me!"_

"Draco's one of our best friends! That's so mean!"

"Who the hell is Sirius!"

"Pansy!"

"Ron has a sister? And I'm DATING her? Absurd!"

"Dumbledore's only in his thirties. . ."

By the next morning, all of them were angry, and they knew there was a spy somewhere in "Hogwarts," which was actually called "Strawgoh."

"Who in the world wrote this?" Harry read the front. "J.K. Rowling. . . So they couldn't even reveal their first names. . ."

"Hm. . .J.K." Ron gasped. "I know who!" Harry and Hermione stared at him.

"Remember her? Joanne!" Hermione gasped too.

"Joanne? As in Joanne _Katherine! _The girl hated me until she left school!"

"Which explains why she wrote all this stuff."

"That's it, I'm out for revenge!" Harry said, reading the address on the book. It seemed like a mailing address, and Harry decided, he would fly to it. Jumping on his favorite broom, he set out for the world, until he saw a mansion sitting there. Meanwhile, Hermione and Ron were alone.

". . .I still can't believe I'm a bookworm."

"I know, you're like the school - "

"Shut up."

Harry burst through Rowling's gates, where a series of Pitbulls attacked him, but he tried his best to press on with three dogs attached to his legs. A body guard blocked his way.

"What are you thinking?" Harry grabbed his wand and whispered a spell at him.

"Alohomora!"

". . .Are you an idiot? You can't use an unlocking spell on me. You know what, do you even have anything to say for your pathetic self?"

"Haha! It was a mere distraction! Densaugeo!" The man's teeth started to grow rapidly, until they hit the ground.

"Aghhh!" Harry cast a Impediment Jinx on the pitbulls, and ran into the mansion where he saw a red headed woman sitting down in front of a fire.

"Harry. . .You came."

"Joanne, I've read your books. How could you spy on us, and twist things up like that? It's horrible!" He heard an evil cackle.

"Because _Harry Potter, _I hate you." She grabbed her want and threw some sort of curse at him, which he dodged with ease.

"What are you getting at? You're making me waste my time!"

"Actually, I am. Once you opened the door, an alarm came on and the police will be coming here any second." Harry looked around, terrified, when a group of police came in and put Harry's arms behind his back.

"Harry Potter, you're under arrest for attempted murder!" Harry was taken away, and after the trial, pleading guilty, sent to prison.

"Some place America is. . ." Harry turned around in his orange jumpsuit and came face to face with his cellmate.

"Wait a minute. . .You're not Harry Potter!"


End file.
